In a satirical report by Babylon Bee, it is described how residents of the US voted to so-called legally adopt a German tourist known as "Freddy the German." The text explains that Freddy’s journey, shared on social media, attracted nationwide interest and drew attention through various stops across the US.
The content portrays Freddy as a good-natured young German who experiences stops like Buc-ee’s and Waffle House for the first time, turning him into a likable figure. This narrative suggests that the character created a shared language of humor across different communities.
According to a statement in the text, a person named Mark Kensington says Freddy has helped Americans see the country from a new perspective. Kensington notes that views of the "real America" outside the cities have changed, and even elements like Bass Pro Shops or warplane flyovers at football stadiums are being noticed anew.
Another character, Gina Harrison, states that with 99.9% of the votes in favor, Freddy’s adoption represents one of the broadest bipartisan supports in modern American history. Harrison emphasizes that who Freddy is or how he looks no longer matters; he is now considered "one of us."
The report humorously mentions that the idea of a constitutional amendment to allow Freddy to run for president has even been proposed. The text concludes this part with the slogan "Freddy 2028."
A note at the time of publication jokes that America also voted to adopt Scottish tourist Shaun. The text then moves on to other satirical events, continuing the fictional narrative.